‘Claire-Ince.com’ has been a huge part of my life for over two years. It has seen me through the darkest period of my life, and has led to some of my greatest triumphs to date.
I started this blog with a few goals in mind.
First and foremost, I wanted it to be a place where I could explore all of my passions. From makeup and skincare, to mental health and the lessons I learn throughout life- this blog has been the place for it.
Being that I am a writer, this blog has also allowed me to improve my writing skills beyond belief, and in turn, has helped me to gain a lot of professional experience in the media industry.
And at the end of the day, Claire-ince.com was always supposed to be an extension of who I am. It was made for you to get to know me, and for me to get to know you.
After opening up to my small audience about the toughest year of my life so far, this blog gave me something that I never thought it would- a community of people who actually want me to succeed.
From that point on, my main focus was making content that would help me to move past my struggles, and with the hope that talking about them would help my readers to move past theirs.
Throughout the last year, I have received some incredible feedback, for which I will be eternally grateful. And as it kept pouring in, I knew that my ‘real-life’ content was what people enjoyed the most.
During my last semester of my undergraduate degree, I wasn’t able to prioritise blogging as much as I used to, which was somewhat tough to deal with at the time.
But as I sit here tonight and look back at my unintentional hiatus, I am so beyond thankful for it.
A few days ago, I attended a youth event at my church with the intention of deciding whether or not volunteering there is something I’d be able to do (which I do believe it is).
During the service, a good friend of mine spoke about comparison, and how it plays out on social media. One thing she said, really got me thinking.
When we see the image portrayed by a person on any social media platform, we are automatically programmed to compare ourselves to that image, which results in us believing one of two things:
- We are less than the person
- We are more than the person
Both of which are potentially detrimental standpoints to take.
But that’s not just something we need to think about as an audience- for on social media, we are also content creators. And that’s when a can of worms was opened in my mind.
What image am I creating?
What am I asking the world to think of me?
When I got home, I looked at my Instagram feed as if I was a stranger, and to be frank, I wasn’t impressed with what I saw.
Pictures of my possessions.
Pictures of my accomplishments.
Pictures of my ‘perfect’ décor.
And pictures of me. Pictures of me sitting around, carefree, perfectly done-up, ready to take on the world with style.
I have never intended to portray my life falsely on social media, but it seemed as though I had somehow done so.
Because the truth is, I’m 21-years-old and my Mum has been asking me to clean my room for the last month (for good reason).
My accomplishments took a great deal of hard work and determination, but I also saw a whole lot of rejection before I received them.
And I am probably the least cool, glamorous, calm person that you will ever meet, who hardly ever looks like she does on Instagram. I’m a nerdy, uncool, workaholic, and I like it that way.
But the real revelation came when I took a look at my blog.
In every single one of my posts this year, I have opened up about different aspects of my life, and how I’ve managed to break through my negative thoughts and emotions.
Even though everything I’ve said is the truth, I’ve unintentionally told the world that I’ve managed to conquer my anxieties, fears, and hurt, and that I’ve done it all on my own, which is just as pretentious as it is untrue.
While I’ve learned a great deal about myself and the world this year, and my life is generally positive, it isn’t perfect, nor am I. I’m stubborn to a fault. I get upset over things that don’t matter. Spontaneity is not my strong point. But do I talk about that? No.
With that said, every post that I have written this year has had a purpose, and I do not regret writing a single one. “A Letter to my bullies” has helped me to forgive and forget the grudges that I’ve been holding onto for over a decade. “Why I’ve Never Had a Boyfriend” has majorly changed people’s response to my perpetual singleness. And “A Letter to My Teenage Self” allowed me to let go of the regrets that have kept me from finding my true purpose.
And for my audience, they’ve done just what I hoped they would. I’ve received so much positive feedback about these posts, and for that I am over the moon.
But as those comments built up, I started to put pressure on myself to continue churning out ‘deep’ content when I had frankly run out of growth to talk about.
For the last few weeks I’ve tried to write so many posts, but none of them have worked. I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s exactly why. I’d burnt out in a big way, and I needed a break.
So, where to now?
From this point on, I am going to make a conscientious effort to portray my life as accurately as possible.
I will no longer be doing anything for the sake of an aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed, when I could be living my life and sharing pictures that I take along the way. I will no longer be making myself relive my past for the sake of a blog post when I could be talking about something that makes me feel good.
From here on out, what you’re getting is as close to the real me as a virtual platform would allow.
And for that, I am ecstatic.
