It’s that day of the year again.
Today, I complete my 2018 blogging journey with a roundup of the things I’ve learned this year.
If you read my ‘Merry Christmas’ post last year, you’ll know that I abandon everything I know about blogging when I do this.
I’m sitting in bed at 7:30AM on Christmas Eve. The day of upload.
I’m going in with absolutely no plan.
I have no idea what I’m going to write about.
I’m just going to sit here and write about stuff until this finds its natural end.
So, where to begin?
Well, all I know is that this year, I grew up.
Sorry Not Sorry
One thing that I notice whenever I read any post in the ‘life’ section of my blog, is that I have the tendency to apologise for talking about my struggles as if they don’t warrant being spoken about.
But I recently realised that this thought process is extremely problematic and that if I want to move forward with my life, it’s time for me to stop apologising for who I am.
Now, I can’t really say that I don’t care what people think of me because that mode of thinking continues to rule many of my decisions.
However, I can say that I have become completely unapologetic about the way I look.
I used to constantly worry about the extra weight I carry in certain areas.
I used to constantly worry about the acne scars on my face.
I used to constantly worry about how my hair looked, as it was the only thing I felt I had going for me.
But now, I truly couldn’t care less.
Once I cut my hair and dared to bare the jiggly bits, I realised that people don’t even care what I look like, because they’re too busy worrying about themselves.
I started rocking the style I had always felt afraid of, and doing so has truly changed my life for the better.
So go ahead and make a snide comment. I dare you.
Brain Power
Next up, came the realisation that my brain is the most powerful asset I have.
For my whole life, I’ve been mostly concerned with the way I look, the way I act, and the way other people perceive me, but this year, I realised that my mind is capable of things that are far greater than that worry.
Rather than shying away in my uni classes and sticking to myself, I slowly but surely started participating in class discussions a little more.
And that turned into debates.
And well-constructed arguments.
And a full-on affinity with theorising about the world around me.
I never knew why all of my high school teachers begged me to talk more in class, but upon letting it out, I totally get it.
I’ve embraced my inner nerd, and I will never let her go again.
Womanhood
I know that I am by no means a proper ‘woman’ yet, but 2018 gave me a little taster.
And am I wrong for saying that it was a little disappointing?
I dealt with hundreds upon hundreds of snide comments from both men and women that made it very difficult to be kind.
In essence, I’ve been told that I am not enough unless I’m on the arm of a man.
That as a female, I should not express my opinions.
I dealt with men acting as though I ‘owe’ them a date because they complimented my derriere, and insinuating that I’m ‘stuck up’ for saying that I’m not interested.
I dealt with grown women questioning my worth because I chose not to be tied down by a relationship before the age of 20.
And that’s seriously messed up.
What’s worse, is that even when I do try to calmly explain the problematic nature of these comments, I’m told to ‘suck it up’ and ‘get over it’.
But I won’t be silenced.
I will only go on dates when I’m treated with respect.
I will be in a relationship when I’m ready.
And I will always express my opinions freely.
2018 was a year of self-discovery, and a whole lot of learning.
While it definitely had more downs than ups, I’m truly grateful for every single one, because they led me to revelations that have shaped me into the person I am today.
This year I embraced my spirituality and reignited my relationship with God, and that’s something that I was afraid to admit for a very long time. But here I am.
I finally became a mother to a ragdoll kitten and six of my dream houseplants, which has been wonderful.
I obtained the best university results that I have ever received, and decided to pursue further study.
I made friends that I will have for a lifetime.
And I’ve been fortunate enough to share all of these experiences with the world.
Thank you for reading, subscribing, commenting, and endlessly supporting me this year.
Merry Christmas to every single one of you, and best wishes for the new year.
Until 2019, 😉
