Being shy and quiet.

Despite my love for words and sharing my thoughts with the world, I have been incredibly shy for basically my entire life.

All too often, those of us who are more quiet are seen as inferior to those who are not.

All too often, we are thrust into the shadows while our outgoing partners in crime are soaking up the busy glow of a spotlight.

Shy people are the ones that notice everything, but are hardly ever noticed.

Through my entire high school journey I struggled with this. I looked at everyone getting out there and making friends while I stood on my own, waiting to be approached.

I found myself struggling in class. I had so many ideas and answers to so many questions. I tried so hard to pluck up the courage to share my thoughts, but was always overshadowed by others.

Every comment from every teacher on every report would say, “Claire is a quiet, conscientious worker. Her work is of excellent standard. She works well in groups, but needs to work on her participation in class discussion.” Or in PE “She’s great at theory but don’t ever let her pursue a career in sport.” Ok, maybe not in those words…

The thing that always perplexed me about these comments, was that shyness had the tendency to be seen as a choice, rather than a trait. This means that every one of those comments were criticising my personality, not what should be assessed.

In accordance with this, shyness is held in immediate association with a lack of social skills. This is flat out false- hopefully I do not need to explain why.

What I am asking here, is why shyness is seen as such a bad thing.

Being quiet allows you to see the world for what it is. The more quiet you are, the more you can hear.

Quiet people have the busiest minds. Often analytically minded by nature, we notice things about the world and people, which would usually have to be extracted through deeply intellectual conversation.

Taking an observant standpoint in certain social situations allows you to view the mistakes of  others, and thus, make less of them yourself. Not to mention you won’t blurt out something stupid.

And most importantly, you can save the small voice you have to say things that matter.

Fewer words with more substance hold more meaning than loads of words with no direction. That is the legacy I would like to leave.

Shyness does ruin some opportunities, but in my mind, everything happens for a reason and that is ok.

But in the case of 90% of shy people- the barrier is a mechanism of protection. Said barrier only stays up briefly, before it collapses and every ounce of personality it was hiding comes tumbling out.

So to you outgoing people reading this, I have something to say.

Stop dismissing people more shy than you before you get to know them. Yes, your first conversation may be slightly awkward, but don’t let that deter you.

Shy people have amazing things to offer to the world, you just have to stop and hear them.