How to be happy.

In this post, I want to help those of you who struggle with being unhappy or anxious.

In my time, I have built a list of ‘rituals’ and thoughts that help me to destress, remain calm, fight anxieties and live in a healthy state of mind. With all of the conflict and consistent stress in our daily lives right now, I thought it would be a great time to share some of these in the hope of inspiring you to take some steps to improve your level of happiness.

However, please keep in mind that I do not have a single qualification in psychology or anything of the sort. I am simply sharing techniques that work for me and a lot of other people. If you are constantly feeling unhappy, isolated or depressed, PLEASE seek professional advice. Check out Reach Out or Lifeline for more information, or RUOK if you are worried about a loved one.

First off, lets get the boring foundations out the way because even though they’re important, who likes them?

be realistic

I’m someone who firmly believes that no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, and despite your contextual surroundings, there are always going to be times that you are unhappy.

Because of this, I believe the true key to finding happiness is to be realistic. If you set yourself up to believe that once you achieve total happiness, it will stay that way forever, you will be even more unhappy in the long run.

The first step to being a better you, is to understand and accept that even the happiest of people have down days. Even the most privileged people in the world have daily struggles and worries, and the sooner you accept it, the better you will feel.

If you are someone who struggles with this, my best tip is to try and look at happiness as being a state of mind, rather than a tangible goal. You shouldn’t be trying to “achieve” happiness or tick it off your bucket list. Success comes from visualising happiness as being a healthy way of living, not an end goal.

workspace

Having a nice workspace and keeping yourself organised is a great way of preventing stress (in my experience, at least).

My biggest tip is to pick a specific area- whether that be your desk, a corner on the floor or a spot outside- to be your ‘workspace’. Pick an area that you only use for work– avoid the dining room table or your bed if possible.

Try not to think of it as the ‘stress’ area or the place you go to do the boring stuff, do your best to visualise the space in a positive light. “This is where I will go to be productive. This is where I will go to be inspired.”

Having this dedicated space will allow you to get things done much more effectively, but will also help you to relax and kick back once you have finished, as the rest of your space can be used for fun activity.

organisation

This is probably not what you want to hear, but staying organised is the best way to prevent stress. Keeping on top of your tasks and staying tidy will keep your mind at ease and give you more time to do the things that you love.

If you struggle with finding motivation, my best advice would be to invest in some cute stationary or organisational material, as it will encourage you to keep up with it- at least for a while.

I definitely have weeks where I do none of this. But I won’t apologise, as that’s part of being realistic ;).

One of the most effective tools I use to maintain a positive state of mind, is my weekly task board.

The back of my desk consists of a metal plate which I can stick things to. I picked up this magnetic whiteboard from Daiso Japan for $2.80 and it’s the best investment I ever made.

Countless studies indicate that writing something down helps you to remember it significantly more than if you don’t. And having the words in prime position will again, help you to remember.

On the whiteboard, I write down the tasks that do not have a deadline, but that I aim to get done some time during the week- and the majority of the time, having this reminder causes me to actually achieve these goals.

On top of that, I also have a pocket diary which I take with me everywhere.

This is only used for the tasks that must be completed by a certain time, or specific appointments.

It’s from Kikki K so it’s a little more pricey, but I love their diaries as they are extremely durable, and come in many different configurations. Check out the live chat feature on their website, where their friendly staff will help you to find exactly what you’re looking for.

For the purpose of the blog post, I’m showing a week which I didn’t plan for.

I basically write down any assignment, appointment or deadline for a certain task as soon as I get it, then at the beginning of each week, I will plan a rough schedule for myself. In the notes section, I always write an inspirational quote or song lyric to keep me motivated.

My biggest tip in terms of planning, is not to take it too seriously. This is why a lot of people do it for a week and then stop.

Being harsh and strict with your timing will only made you more stressed and there will come a point where you will explode in a cloud of exhaustion. Keep it as casual and laid back as possible.

Now, we (finally) move onto the fun stuff!

reflection

Reflection is hands down one of the most effective ways of improving your quality of life. I recommend it to anyone, and it’s especially effective for those who suffer with anxiety and/or depression.

I am guilty of overthinking. I often analyse things in my head out of boredom or for a bit of fun, and tend to get caught up in my thoughts which can send me on a downward spiral. Journalling has really helped me to combat this.

I have two types of journals which I strongly recommend.

For beginners, Q&A a Day is an absolute must have.

I’ve talked about this in another blog post, but the basic premise behind it is that every single day, you are asked a different question which you briefly answer in the book. However, this goes on for five years, so each year on the same day, you will answer the same question.

If you are suffering with a mental illness, this one is great, as you will be able to track your progress as well as reflect on your life for five minutes of every day.

I opened up the journal to a random page so you can see, as the range of questions in this book are brilliant. Some of them are quite deep and philosophical, and some are light hearted and fun, as you can see above.

My friend Zoe also has this book, and after the five years are up, we are going to read each others and compare how our personalities have changed (and yes, that idea was adapted from Tanya Burr and Zoella).

The other journal I keep is much more classic.

I do not write in it every day, basically just whenever I feel like I want or need to, which is the biggest tip I have for starting one of your own.

I sometimes write classic diary style entries in a stream of consciousness format, but I also use it for many other things.

I like to glue things into it like movie tickets or pictures from my day, and sometimes I use it like you would a scrapbook.

Some days when I don’t want to talk about how I’m feeling, I write out the lyrics to a song that reflects my mood or something I enjoyed listening to that day.

But as I am an overthinker, the best use I have for it is unloading all of my analysations and theories, so that they are finally out of my head and locked away somewhere else. It’s honestly SUPER helpful.

This journal is actually new as recently, my old one sadly started falling apart.

Again, this is from Kikki K and is one of their feature journals which I love for many reasons.

They are very durable and sturdy, and the paper quality is amazing. There’s also a variety of lined, blank and fully decorated pages so it encourages you to be quite creative.

But one of my favourite things about them, is that they’re scattered with quotes and positive reinforcements which are great mood boosters and writing inspiration. Highly recommend!

Of course, you can make a journal out of any writing book you have, and I strongly encourage you to start one. If you need help regarding what to write, or you need motivation to start, do check out this video.

 imagination

One of the greatest, and worst things about living in our generation, is the simple access we have to a world of entertainment and people.

The downside to this, is we’re often so drawn into our busy lives that we lose our sense of imagination.

I know reading isn’t for everyone, which I totally get. Some people just don’t like it. But if like me you love a good book, reading is one of the best escapes out there.

But don’t just read them, try to keep them around you so that every time you see them, you’re reminded of the feeling you got whilst reading it. It can give you little jolts of happiness and keep your imagination going.

music

Music is something we all love. It gives us something to identify with, a shoulder to cry on and helps us to feel things properly.

This is a technique used by so many people already, but I thought I’d mention it anyway. Try to find yourself an album, an artist or a song that understands you and your situation, and just listen to it/them. It provides you with a release for sadness, and a way of improving your daily life.

I’ve used Spotify for nearly two years now and I love it. If any of you want to listen along with me, my username is clairezebear.

And no, this isn’t a beats by dre product placement. I wish!

homely touches

This is pretty self explanatory, but small homely touches are what make your space that much more welcoming. They create a feeling of warmth and make everything a little more special.

I personally love fairy lights and lanterns and my room is just covered in them as they make me feel calm and put a smile on my face.

To go along with that, I always have at least one candle or reed diffuser in my room. I’m currently using my all time favourite which is the Glasshouse fragrance diffuser in Tahaa. I highly recommend Glasshouse products as they have a great range of great quality scents and you’re bound to find something you love.

I also like to keep pictures and subtle band merchandise scattered around my space to remind me of happy times and give me positive reinforcements.

laugh… a lot!

And finally, the MOST IMPORTANT tip:

Stop being so serious!

Laughter is the best medicine, so go out and have fun with your friends and family as much as your heart desires. Yes, you should always have long term goals and aim to complete them- but at the end of the day, none of that matters if you’re not having fun.

If you are feeling alone, or you’re in a position where you can’t necessarily go out, there’s always the option of staying in with your family and watching films, or binge watching Zoella and Mark Ferris’ vlogs till 3AM because I totally… haven’t done that.

And if all else fails, the Friends box set and a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s never hurts.

I truly hope this has helped you in some way, and please don’t hesitate to message me on social media if you have any questions or would like a chat.

That’ll be all,

Claire.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. All products were purchased by myself or gifted to me. All opinions are my own.